A fun game. I haven’t figured out the best strategy, but I’ve only played once. Shooting the zombies in the kneecaps seemed to work.

Found at Cold Fury.

No more political posts. It’s a waste of time.

The cover of the May 19 issue of Rolling Stone has an item reading:

QUAGMIRE
A HARD LOOK AT
THE IRAQ DISASTER
There’s also a picture of Orlando Bloom wearing a V-neck tank top and an unseemly amount of jewelry. Hasn’t the “Quagmire” angle dried up yet? Chrenkoff has an item in today’s NYT that is electronically viewable here that may serve to counterbalance whatever the Rolling Stone magazine has to inform us of. Believe what you want, but try to keep the rooting for the enemy in check.

Lilek’s bleat for tomorrow is a beaut. He starts out with how cold the weather is up North thar, and I thought, I’ll link this to taunt Nick, who just moved to Mini-Soda. It wraps up with typical Lileks elegance and skill. (Hint: burn(commies,X), not burn(X,commies))

Getting back to my original intent, it was near 90 degrees the other day, and the sun shined brightly today. Tomorrow we’re supposed to get a much needed rain, which will please my garden and flower bed to no end. Take that, Nick!

On the drive home tonight, I heard two commercials on the radio for pure scam products. One of them is the Doctor’s Night Guard. It’s a device designed to keep you from grinding your teeth at night, and sells for $24.99 at Walgreens. Anybody who’s ever played a contact sport recognizes the product as a standard “mouthguard.” You can buy the same thing (maybe a less intrusive version even) for $1.99 at any sporting goods store. They are pretty cool, for those of you poor souls who never felt the joy of violent competition. You dip the mouthguard into boiling water to soften up the material, then you pull it out, stick it in your mouth, and bite down a bit. The thing forms to your teeth, and voila, they won’t fall out when some sucka knocks you into the boards at full speed.

The other scam-product is the International Star Registry. You can tell from the website that the company exclusively employs dolts, so it’s not clear whether it’s a scam or cannibalistic foolishness. The basic idea is that you pay $54.00 for some professional-looking junk that says that a star in the sky is named after someone that you want to impress. And then the company publishes a book that becomes copyrighted, so there is a record of your asinine transaction taking place. Of course, everything I write on this here blog is loosely copyrighted. So I could make a deal with you, whereby I say that if you give me $100, I’ll make you the coolest person in the universe. Once I get the money, I’ll publish to this blog the sentence “[some goofball with a $100 hole in his pocket] is the coolest person in the universe.” Writing here that you are the coolest person in the universe doesn’t make it so, and neither does writing that such and such star is called “[the girlfriend of some goofball with a $54 hole in his pocket]” make it so. The difference is that I wouldn’t enter your name into a database of goofballs ripe for later scamming.

To my knowledge, nobody I know has ever ordered a “Doctor’s Nightguard.” One very good friend of mine “named a star” after his girlfriend at the time, but it was a long time ago, and we’d mocked his poor decision thoroughly enough in the immediate aftermath that it’s safe to assume he realizes the foolishness of that purchase better than any of the rest of us.

And, for those of you looking for gifts for the ladies: they like flowers. And if you want to drop more than fifty bucks, make her an appointment at a day spa for a facial and get her finger- and toe-nails taken care of. Pretending that you had a star named after her will justifiably cause her to question your decision-making ability.

Tomorrow will see a few interesting roster moves, as Jason Isringhausen will be activated from the disabled list and Mike Mahoney will be sent down to AAA. Also:

In addition, the club is expected to make an adjustment to its bullpen. Kevin Jarvis will likely be removed from the roster, with left-hander Gabe White having his contract purchased from Triple-A Memphis. White signed with the Cardinals organization on April 25 and has been very effective at Memphis.

I’m guessing that means Jarvis will be reassigned to his living room sofa. Gabe White has been effective for Memphis–his stats as of today: 4 hits 0 ER in 7.1 relief innings with a sporty 1:8 BB:K ratio. Last season with Cincinnati, he gave up 12 homers in 39 innings with 27 ER, but a nice 5:33 BB:K. Also last season, he inherited 19 baserunners, 3 of whom scored. (I just wrote a quick script to process that webpage. I’ll see if I can make it do anything useful later.) That call-up has got to hurt Pulsipher, as the Cards now have a seven man bullpen with three lefties.

First this:

Your Star Wars Masturbation Method Is: Grooming the Wookie

Then this:

Former major league relief pitcher John Rocker is struggling in the minors, and he recently told ESPN that he compares himself to Hank Aaron and the late Jackie Robinson in his struggle to win over fans.

“I’ve taken a lot of crap from a lot of people,” Rocker told ESPN. “Probably more than anybody in the history of this sport. I know Hank and Jackie took a good deal of crap, but I guarantee it wasn’t for six years. I just keep thinking: How much am I supposed to take?”

I graffitied (sp?) this comment there:

I find it hard to believe that all the clubs in the MLB will retire his number in solidarity with John Rocker’s struggle for acceptance.

What an ass.

Both items found at Leaning Towards the Dark Side.

Pat Buchanan is a Nazi apologist.

Molina starts today. Scott Rolen’s MRI is today as well.

Carpenter had a sweet top of the first: 8 pitches, ground, fly, ground. Let’s go get ‘em, Birdies.

D-Lowe looks to have his stuff, too. Got Eck n’ Walker to ground out, and struck out Pujols. I wish I could watch this game. From behind home plate. Knuckleball pitchers are neat to watch. My pal Keydog has a pretty good knuckleball. He tosses that junk sometimes when you play catch with him, the bastard.

According to this ESPN article, Scott Rolen is likely headed to the DL.

So we might have a lot of roster moves in the next few days. Mike Mahoney will go down (assuming Yadier can move well) and Izzy will be activated. Jarvis will be cut sent down, and Pulsipher will be brought back up. And if Rolen needs to go on the disabled list, Scott Seabol can be brought up to get a good look. His current numbers at AAA Memphis: .330/.381/.670 in 115 AB, 10 walks to 20 Ks, 8 home runs. Assuming Rolen’s on the 15 day DL, retroactive to Wednesday, Seabol would face the pitching staffs of the Mets, Phillies, Royals, and Pirates.

Fingers crossed that Rolen’s not hurt badly.

Update: Rolen is on the 15-day DL, retroactive to Wednesday. Scott Seabol has been brought up. Paletta says that Rolen will need a minimum of 10-14 days to heal, and then will need to get his strength back. No other roster moves are mentioned in that article. I was hoping that it would be Seabol and not Luna. Not that I have anything against Luna, but I think he’s better off picking up the slack at third in AAA. And I’d like to get a look at Seabol.

Update again: This article has more information. The Cards want to see how Molina feels after this game and tomorrow morning, so Isringhausen will do some simulated pitching today. Barring any problems with either Izzy or Yadier, Mahoney will be sent down tomorrow and Isringhausen activated for the series with the Pond Scum.

I was reading around at National Guard Experience and came across a bunch of references to something called a Boohbah doll. I had no idea what it was, but it sounded terrifying. The official Boohbah website did little to allay my terror. I played what I guess is a game that involves making people jump on trampolines, and when they would be in the air, their identities would change. Bizarre. Simple site navigation is beyond my abilities there. I’m flummoxed.

It turns out that there is such a thing as a LaTroy Hawkins-proof win: a walk off homer in the tenth.

Q.E.D. M.F..

(The question of whether such a thing was discussed in the comments to this post.)

Excellent win tonight. 19 hits by the Redbirds. Nice outing by the Soup. I wasn’t happy to see Flores pitching again after he’d gone two innings last night, but he pitched well and didn’t seem sore or anything. Tavarez pitched very well in relief, well enough that he was called on to sacrifice bunt during a late lead-padding rally. I’m still sore about losing last night’s game though. I’ve changed my mind about Jarvis. If we can’t trade him for a sack of moldy baseballs or a bag of line chalk, I’d rather he be cut than sent down to the minors, where the spot could be filled by a potential major league pitcher. Chris Carpenter goes tomorrow, and unless he pitches a complete game, it’s likely we’ll see the second outing by Brad Thompson. I’ll be at work, since it’s a 12:10 start. But I’ll be following very carefully. We win tomorrow and we’ll have a good shot at being at 2X.500 by the time my head hits the pillow Saturday night.

I took the Pew 2005 Political Typology Survey, found at the Red Granger. I think I won: I’m an ENTERPRISER.

Basic Description
As in previous studies conducted in 1987, 1994 and 1999, this extremely partisan Republican group’s politics are driven by a belief in the free enterprise system and social values that reflect a conservative agenda. Enterprisers are also the strongest backers of an assertive foreign policy, which includes nearly unanimous support for the war in Iraq and strong support for such anti-terrorism efforts as the Patriot Act.

Extremely partisan? Screw you, pinko!

Defining Values
Assertive on foreign policy and patriotic; anti-regulation and pro-business; very little support for government help to the poor; strong belief that individuals are responsible for their own well being. Conservative on social issues such as gay marriage, but not much more religious than the nation as a whole. Very satisfied with personal financial situation.

All that’s true, except for the part about gay marriage and high satisfaction with my financial situation. I’m fairly poor and saddled with student loan debt and a mortgage. And I support gay marriage on pro-business grounds. I think companies would want to offer benefits for partners of gay employees but don’t want to be subject to fraudulent claims.

Who They Are
Predominantly white (91%), male (76%) and financially well-off (62% have household incomes of at least $50,000, compared with 40% nationwide). Nearly half (46%) have a college degree, and 77% are married. Nearly a quarter (23%) are themselves military veterans. Only 10% are under age 30.

I am predominantly white, and 87.89% male. I’m unmarried with two college degrees, but quite poor. I’m not a veteran. I’m in that 10% under 30 though.

Lifestyle Notes
59% report having a gun in their homes; 53% trade stocks and bonds in the stock market, and 30% are small business owners – all of which are the highest percentages among typology groups. 48% attend church weekly; 36% attend bible study or prayer group meetings.

I have two firearms, although I only own one of them. I’m too poor to trade stocks and bonds. I haven’t been to church in years.

2004 Election
Bush 92%, Kerry 1%. Bush’s most reliable supporters (just 4% of Enterprisers did not vote)

Party ID
81% Republican, 18% Independent/No Preference, 1% Democrat (98% Rep/LeanRep)

I’m about 75% Republican and 25% Independent, by my reckoning.

Media Use
Enterprisers follow news about government and politics more closely than any other group, and exhibit the most knowledge about world affairs. The Fox News Channel is their primary source of news (46% cite it as a main source) followed by newspapers (42%) radio (31%) and the internet (26%).

I don’t watch TV news. But I spend at least an hour every day reading news reports on the internets.

Hmmmm. Enterpriser, eh? That reminds me of a conversation Jeff and I were having earlier today, in fact, when we discussed alternative restroom facilities on the Star Ship Enterprise that could involve using transporter technology to beam waste directly from the colons of crew members and either out into space or onto the bridges of unsuspecting ships passing by.

The website, The Big Apple, explores the etymology of terms applied to cities, such as how New York City came to be nicknamed “the big apple.” One of the open investigations is into how Boston came to be called “Beantown.” In that article, the author states:

The Boston baseball team was called the “Hubbites” and the “Bean-Eaters.” (This team became the Boston Reds and later the Cincinnati Reds, not the Red Sox.)

Tsk, tsk. The Cincinnati Reds always played in Cincinnati, from the Big Inning onwards. They were originally called the Red Stockings. There was another team called the Boston Red Stockings, who in 1883 changed their name to the Bean Eaters to “tie their identity to Boston and avoid confusion with the Cincinnati Red” Stockings. From 1907-1912 they were the Boston Doves, and the Braves thereafter. The team later moved to Milwaukee and are now the Atlanta Braves.

I had never heard of the “Hubbites” before reading that sentence, and probably for good reason.

Interestingly, Caleb and I were just talking about how Boston came to be called “Beantown” yesterday. I thought it had something to do with coffee.

Etymology is very, very difficult. This page from the Celebrate Boston website makes it seem as though the association between Boston and (baked) beans originated between 1900-1910.

Why did Tony La Russa leave Kevin Jarvis, a pitcher known to be lousy, in to face Hee Seop Choi? Rob of Birdwatch asks this question and proposes some possible answers.

I admit, when Morris started losing his gas, I said something like, “I hope we bring in Jarvis and he either does very well or very badly. I want him traded or sent down.” I didn’t mean that badly.

Meanwhile, behind the facade of this innocent looking bookstore: Bernie Micklasz chimes in at his forum. A user asked who would be sent down when Izzy is reactivated on Thursday, and he replied thusly:

La Russa told me today that they really want to see more of Thompson, which leads me to believe he’s safe for now.

Jarvis isn’t a major-league pitcher. Period.

Ideally, Molina is ready to go, and we can send Mahoney back down, and I’d like to bring up Bill Pulsipher and send down Kevin Jarvis now that it’s clear nobody’s going to take him off our hands.

Yes, I misspelled that on purpose. Chris pointed out this excellent example of why you should bookmark TSG.

My annoyance with political blather has led me to decide that I will write no political posts for the next month. None. Just shit like this:

Golly! I hit the cages again tonight and was mighty improved fom yesterday. I saw the ball better and got my legs and hips into the swing much better. I’m still hitting better from the left side, but once I started focussing on the ball and its proper state of thwackitude, I started making very respectable contact.

Gateway Pundit has been added to the blogroll. Enjoy the video in this post, and infer the “pooping in the picnic basket” going on by Bush-hating partisan hacks in the comments. There seems to be a lot of that going on these days.

Take, for example, this post of Illinipundit’s. In it he points out the great employment numbers for April, and the first lefty who comes along in the comments pooh-poohs the data. These people seem to have no political objectives beyond their hatred of George W. Bush. Politics is getting to be too annoyingly partisan to pay attention to, and when that happens, only annoying partisans stay involved with politics.

I’m becoming fairly impressed with the Mac OSX operating system. It’s basically a degenerate form of Linux. A client today wanted to move some files from my audio Mac onto her laptop. This was about 9 gigabytes of wave files.

Using this article and this one, I was able to slap together a procedure for connecting the two machines with a crossover cable and zooming the data over. It involved little more than checking a few boxes and manually IP addressing the machines.

Most impressive.

Say a prayer for the family of Sgt. Aaron Cepeda Sr., a friend of a friend who died in a suicide bomb attack in al-Anbar province over the weekend.

And it’s because Seymour Hersh is on campus today and tomorrow. They’ll be discussing “Corporate Media.” Which other tax status do these silly people want mass media organizations to have?

The weather is extraordinary today. Absolutely beautiful. Cass came over this morning with her tiller and finished planting my garden. I’d turned all the dirt over with a shovel last night, so we were able to till very deep, about ten inches down. My garden is gonna kick ass this season. I need to pick up two more pepper plants though. I don’t have any habanero or tobasco peppers, and they’re my favorites. In addition to many varieties of peppers, I also have some Mesclun (a fancy assortment of lettuce plants), cherry tomatoes, and collared greens. I think when I pick up the last two pepper plants, I’ll get some Kentucky beans too.

To sum up, the weather’s fantastic, silly people are having a conference on campus, and my flowerbeds and vegetable gardens are all in place.

Wayne Hagin and Mike Shannon pronounce Einar Diaz’s first name “ay-ner,” to rhyme with “double-gainer.” I had been saying it “eye-nar,” defaulting to German letter-to-sound conventions. In the STLCardinals.com page on Diaz, his last name is transcribed “aa-NAR.” I have no idea what the “aa” is intended to represent, but I would guess “ah.” I guess I have something to talk about with the next Spanish Phonologist I run into, at least one with familiarity with Panamanian personal names.