Archive for September, 2008

Congratulations

Monday, September 29th, 2008

To the 2008 St. Louis Cardinals for finishing what may have been the most entertaining rebuilding year evar in fine style with a season-best 6-game winning streak and a respectable 86-76 record (three wins better than the World Series champion 2006 season).

We saw a lot of players establish themselves as exciting major league players: Ryan Ludwick, Rick Ankiel, Chris Perez, Jason Motte, Joe Mather, Skip Schumaker.

Aaron Miles had a career year and won some hard-to-win fans.

Chris Carpenter and Josh Kinney showed that they still have it after TJ, although Carp’s going to need his nerve issues sorted out (I’m optimistic about that).

Need to finish up my chapter by the end of the month, but I’ll get back to writing about baseball in a few days. I don’t like the Lohse extension, of course. And I’ll grade myself on pre-season predictions and such (Maj had a strong season; I was dead wrong on Hampton).

And a big congratulations to my friends Jeff and Karyn on their wedding this past Saturday.

Fools

Monday, September 29th, 2008

I’m waiting for the floor to drop out with news of the credit rescue plan/RTCII dying in the house, 228-205.

Short-sighted, in my opinion, but it’s hard to blame the Representatives in the House. This bill is incredibly unpopular. I thought Bush did a good job explaining why it’s needed, but I guess the majority of people hate him so intensely that they laugh off anything he says at this point. That was the impression I got at a BBQ in the Lou on Sunday, at least.

A guy at this party was saying that the plan would cost $10,000 per household, which may be technically true but not of any immediate relevance—I guess that a large part of the public hostility to the plan is a belief that each and every Joe Taxpayer will be required to cough up ten grand to save the asses of a bunch of Wall Street jocks. That’s not the case: the rescue plan won’t be paid for out of tax revenues, but will be funded by the sale of treasury paper. That’s why a key part of the bill authorizes increased deficit spending. It may sound circular, but the treasury will be selling government backed, low interest paper in order to finance the government’s backing low value paper. As far as I see it, the longer congress muddles along with passing the plan, the fewer banks will be left standing to sell assets to the RTCII, and the less value there’ll eventually return to the treasury to pay off the debt that’s financing the rescue plan. Warren Buffett and I agree that this plan is going to end up a very positive net gain for the treasury down the road, that more government debt will be paid down out of this package than the initial investment, so long as Treasury isn’t hamstrung. In the current market, treasury bills are a pretty attractive place to squirrel away money, so Treasury shouldn’t have much trouble raising the capital they need to buy up the securities if this thing gets passed.

I blame Obama a bit for this:* he floated the idea that taxpayers should be issued checks for any funds returning to Treasury in future sales of the mortgage-backed assets they’re buying up. That idea was extremely popular at the BBQ and stupidly misleading—the very worst sort of populism (vote for me! I’ll pay ya!). If you believe what I’m saying about how this thing is to be funded, then you must agree that this idea is asinine and would be massively destructive, since in that scenario, future taxpayers would be paying off this debt plus interest. McCain hasn’t been much clearer on this as far as I can tell, either, but I’ve been out of the loop.

It’s pretty clear that someone other than Bush is going to have to make a case for this thing to the public, make it clear that it’s not being paid for by tax increases, and insist that any returns Treasury gets from it go towards paying down the national debt. I imagine the logical person to step up to make the case would be Obama or McCain, but they both seem to have dug holes for themselves on the issue by playing politics. It’s the right thing to do and I’ll give credit to whoever is able to provide a convincing case to the American people that it should be done and in a way that protects taxpayers today and down the road as much as possible. I think it’s good politics, too. Bush was careful not to promise that the RTCII or whatever you want to call it will pay for itself; a certain politician on the campaign trail beating the dusty fiscal responsibility drum can talk stability, renewed growth, and deficit reduction all in one issue.

* Just a bit, unless I hear that his campaign’s astroturfing bad information around to kill this deal, which wouldn’t surprise me at this point. An economic collapse would be in his best political interests. I’ve made an effort not to assign blame for this crisis, but in talking with Democrats over the weekend, it’s pretty clear that the popular consensus is that it’s Bush’s doing and has nothing to do with the mandated “affordable housing” movement pushed by politically connected buffoons at the GSE’s and elected buffoons on both sides of the aisle in Congress. The uniform nonsense that I’m hearing from people who don’t quite follow this stuff too closely is that de-regulation and the free market run amok is the cause. Not so… If with any primary factor, blame lies in government bullying of the market to create the appearance of a growing middle class—increased home ownership—instead of setting the conditions for a growing middle class—growth incentives to corporations and infrastructure improvements in the energy sector. (This essay makes the root-causes argument that I find compelling.)

Can’t believe Congress isn’t getting back to work until Thursday. Here’s hoping it doesn’t matter, but I put the likelihood of that very low. Glad my mortgage is within my means and owned by a properly run bank in Wells Fargo.

I’m pretty ticked off about this. Looking for the roll call from today’s vote. Might need to send off a letter to my representatives for the first time. Of course, my junior senator, who I voted for, is probably happy with today’s outcome.

Found it here. Tim Johnson voted against.

Later that night: Was out of town and deprived of news for the last four days. It looks like there was some junk in the bill that would’ve kept the thing from working as well as it needs to. Here’s hoping the next version is cleaner, although I fear the opposite—something that I’ll want vetoed. (Like Bush ever vetoes anything.)

Today’s News

Thursday, September 25th, 2008

I thought Bush’s address explained the issues pretty well and made a good case.

I even almost enjoyed Barney Frank’s reaction aired on CNBC afterwards, in which he basically claimed the thing would pass in the next few days with a few changes (most of which I think are sensible but not apparently exactly what I was thinking appropriate).

I’ve been diggin’ CNBC the past few days: no O’Reilly, Hannity, Olbermann, or Campbell Browns. For a long time I’ve said the only reliable news reporting can be found in the business and sports pages—not so on television for sports at least since ESPN jumped the shark, but apparently the business reporters on CNBC still take their credibility seriously enough. (Larry Kudlow and Jim Cramer are the only open partisans, but neither pulls much crap on their shows. Maria Bartiromo is spectacular. Then again, I could do without this Donny Deutsch character who just came on.

Other noteworthy news of the day: Change they need. Looking forward to hearing what the Kurdish parties think, if this gets any coverage.

Back to work.

(Break: Very funny rejected text.

About that Crisis Thing…

Wednesday, September 24th, 2008

First, a disclaimer: all the formal schoolin’ I’ve had in economics came in one semester of macro with the excellent Dr. Werner Sublette, who had a reputation for being a very difficult professor. He was one of my favorite teachers as an undergrad—the material was fairly difficult and he demanded you learn it well, which takes hard work. He didn’t assign busy-work or anything like that to make the class more difficult than it needed to be, but if you passed his class, you’d know the stuff well enough that you wouldn’t embarrass him in your future work (as I may do in the coming paragraphs). I haven’t even gotten around to reading Thomas Sowell’s Pop-Econ book, which I’ve heard is excellent and is in the queue.

All that said, I’ll go ahead and stick my thumb in the door hinge by giving an opinion on the “bailout” plan… (Some of this copy-and-pasted from my side of an email exchange earlier.) I’ve read quite a bit over the past week with my BS-detector set to DC and think I’ve got the idea. I’ve also talked to enough people to know that the severity of the crisis is lost on the majority of those in the circles I run. This column from today summarizes things pretty well, I think.

I think it’s essential to pass the bill quickly with minimal changes. The bill gives the Department of the Treasury authority to buy up to $700 billion dollars worth of mortgage-related assets from companies headquartered in the US. They’re required to report to congress three months after the law passes and every six months afterwards.

These are the “minimal changes” I’d like to see:

  • I’d definitely want to see a deadline for this subentity in Treasury, public corporation, or however it’s structured to finish buying up bad paper: the three months between the day the program gets off the ground until their first appearance before congress would be perfect.

    Make the banks decide quickly what they want to unload, make them unload it to get things moving fast, and make sure the monster doesn’t stick around forever. Three months of buying followed by a few years of restructuring the debts, followed by securitization and a sell-off period until the debt’s all gone: sold or defaulted. If Treasury needs more time to buy, they’d need congressional approval for an extension when they first report of either three or six months to the next report.

  • Congress wants oversight of Treasury’s moves, which I think would be a very, very bad idea; but I’d like to see the thing made more transparent. They should mandate a publicly accessible database to show how much paper was bought from whom and at what price, but treasury should be free and flexible to make those buys without waiting for congressional approval. (Transparency good; oversight bad.)
  • I’d like to see the price on the toxic debt set very low, some sort of market mechanism to be used to set the price—a plan floated for a reverse auction sounds reasonable, although has apparently been rejected already. The paper these banks need to unload would be ones worth nothing or next to nothing on the market today, so 25 cents on the dollar seems like more than a sufficient offering price to open up these firms’ balance sheets and get reliable credit flowing again. There should be some mandated cap on the price Treasury is authorized to pay, no higher than 50 cents on the dollar. Treasury shouldn’t be competing with other banks that’d want to buy these securities and other assets; and certainly should avoid deflating the market for any but the most toxic mortgage-related assets. The worthy goal, as I understand it: we’re not trying to bail out banks by infusing them with cash, we’re trying to stabilize their balance sheets by taking crappy loans off their hands. I’m not interested in punitive measures or anything, but the buying price for this sludge needs to be low enough that it’ll be a painful decision for firms to dump it and that the gov’t has a chance to not see ALL the paper default. Some of these companies will still fail–if they do, they were managed poorly enough that they should fail, but we can’t have it that almost all of them are failing.

    If they set that buy price right, this thing’ll work and they won’t need to spend the $700-trillion figure that Treasury’s asking for. If they set it too high: they’ll spend too much, never make it back for the taxpayers, and set a piss poor precedent in moral hazard terms. If they set it too low, they won’t drain enough crap out of the system to get things working again. I’d frankly prefer they err on the side of miserliness in this case. Some firms need to fail. Some people may need to go to prison.

  • I’m also not keen on Pelosi’s wish for taxpayer cash to directly bailout homeowners in mortgages they can’t afford. It’d make sense to give treasury wide latitude to restructure mortgages close to foreclosure in some way to get these homeowners on escalating payment plans to get some of the debt paid down. In other words, once Treasury owns some package of mortgages, they should de-securitize it, separate the wheat from the chaff, and rework the mortgage terms on the very bad loans to avoid foreclosure to the un-credit-worthy homeowners in creative ways. For example, refinancing a mortgage in foreclosure into a 30 or 40 year amortized mortgage where the monthly payment is initially set low and increases proportional with projected GDP growth, correcting along the way along with a low-cost program to strongly encourage these homeowners to pay extra principle down each month to incrementally pay the mortgage off the back-end. Ideally, you put together the right kind of programs like those and the loans rebuild value over a few years during which the Treasury could eat the short-term losses that a private bank may not have been able to ride out. If some of the homeowners can make their payments responsibly and keep up with the growth of the economy in terms of their own buying power, those mortgages would be greatly strengthened in value.

[Added later: I've read quite a few arguments from real economists for why the plan is terrible (notably this one. They all seem to assume that Treasury will be buying these assets at "inflated" or "premium" prices and my reading of the tea leaves suggests that's a mistaken assumption. I don't see this as a Treasury plan to directly capitalize these firms in exchange for worthless paper, but a plan to reduce firms' unmovable liabilities to let them get back to business a little wiser in the way described here. If that's what Paulson wants to do (pay market rates from two years ago for today's garbage), then yes, it would be stupid; and yes, I think his mandate should be clear that that is not how he may spend the taxpayers' money.]

I’m most nervous about who’s going to be running this thing next year and beyond. Don’t want it turned into anything it’s not meant to be; and the people running it are going to have to be some smart, creative people. Done right, this will be a gain for the taxpayer over the span of several years, even leaving aside the crippling damage that would be done by continuing to ignore the problem.

A few other comments, only peripherally related to the Big Deal: inflation rates need to be raised at some point soon. Treasury buying up these assets, even at discounted prices, are going to have an inflationary effect; the dollar’s weak; and we’re a spaz-out from an Ahmadinijad or a Chavez away from severe, continued energy-related inflation. I’m not advocating the sort of tight monetary policy that made the Great Depression so severe, but interest rates can’t be set lower than the rate of inflation for much longer. To counteract the anti-growth effect that’d have, I’d be tickled pink to see a corporate tax cut like McCain’s advocating. He’s campaigning (a little too quietly) for a rate cut of up to 10% on businesses. Even a more modest cut on the corporate tax rates would be a tremendous boost for job growth, give employees (especially unionized workers) excellent leverage to demand better health benefits with business expenses dropping that dramatically overnight, and disincentivize companies from moving their headquarters or pieces of holdings into tax havens overseas. With the kind of liabilities the federal budget will be taking on with the Big Deal and a Democratically held congress, that’ll be a hard sell. I, for one, wouldn’t cry foul if components of the Bush personal income tax rates were repealed to offset the costs (and, of course, would be glad to see reductions in spending outside of the military, infrastructure, and education budgets).

It’s pretty clear to me that one of the many reasons for this lousy economy we’re sitting in is the imbalance of profits in the financial sector as compared to the manufacturing and service sectors. I’d say we’ve been relying too much on the Fed to spur growth. It’s past time to get the broader economy working with a one-two punch of a business tax cut and a weak dollar to facilitate exports, while implementing policies to strengthen the dollar and get inflation under check.

[Later still: I swear I wrote all this before reading Kudlow's most recent column, which says most of the same things in the post-bullet portion of this post.

Also, this article by David C. John covers most of the things I wrote in the bullet-points, although more expertly than I did. A major difference is that he wants oversight by an independent board of financial experts with no ties to the Fed or Treasury. I still prefer my idea of absolute transparency and accountability to the "shareholders" also known as the American taxpayer. I think all government operations outside of the national security sector should be held to that standard. Another is that he doesn't mention any time limit for the acquisitions phase of RTC II, or whatever this thing'll be. I think that's an important requirement, both in ensuring that RTC II will go away eventually and in that it'll give it leverage in pricing—sell or die, to paraphrase Genghis Khan.]

Welcome

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

to the Post-Partisan era.

Egads.

This would seem to be a good time to ground myself from reading up on politics and economics for a couple of days step away from all the nasty and focus on work. My chapter’ll be done on Tuesday—that’ll feel very, very good. If all goes to plan, two weeks from today I’ll be able to answer any question about just about anything that happened during the 2007 and 2008 MLB seasons.

Neologism: LIVE

Saturday, September 20th, 2008

Over at Althouse, there’s a comment thread dedicated to famously misquoted lines: name the most famous one in history and come up with a new word to describe these sorts of misquotations that are more well-known and cited more often than the actual utterance they reference.

Four very good suggestions for the latter issue are:

  1. Malapropoganda: malapropism + propoganda
  2. Substiquote: substitute + quote
  3. fauxquote: n/a
  4. Errtribute/errtribution: errant attribution

I think I prefer the last one the most. The first seems to fault both parties—the original speaker and the reportage; the second makes the revised reportage intentional; faux-quote is good, but too continental; and errtribute gets the connotations right—if anything the word could be taken to mean that you’re crediting the wrong person for speaking a good line.

Suggestions for the former issue include Descartes’ errtributed “I think, therefore I am,” “je pense, donc je suis;” Al Gore’s “I invented the internet;” GWB’s “The problem with France is, they don’t have a word for entrepreneur;” and Ingrid Bergman in ‘Casablanca’ “Play it again, Sam.”

Political Advertisements

Saturday, September 20th, 2008

If it weren’t for comics like Jim Gaffigan, Nick Vatterott, Brian Regan, TJ Miller, et. al. who keep putting out quality material, I’d be convinced that comedy peaked with season 4 of Mr. Show:

They had the formula down pat.

And from season 3, the finest latency joke of all time.

Good Day to Take Off Early

Friday, September 19th, 2008

I managed to leave work around 1pm today so I could go home and work on my own research. I had CNBC on in the background, watching Closing Bell hosted by the Money Honey, when Charlie Gasparino broke the rumor that Treasury had let go unconfirmed or denied that Paulson was working on an “RTC-type” entity that would buy up bad debt at heavily discounted prices (but better prices than could be had from a private buyer). Word got out and the floor went nuts, with the Dow spiking 200 points over the next forty minutes, eventually closing up 400 or so. Pretty exciting stuff.

If congress approves it (and I’d be stunned if there isn’t a race between Clinton, Schumer, and McCain to be the first to get a bill on the senate floor in line with Paulson’s recommendations), that’d be an enormous entity. Here’s hoping it works as well as the one that got us through the S&L crisis way back when.

The RTC was called “The Wolf.” This one deserves a cool name, too. (I’m a jackass.) I humbly suggest “The Whale,” as suggesting a name is about the only contribution to this that I could credibly offer. (A terrifically massive filter feeder leaving behind a wake of cleansed liquidity).

Too bad the necessary reforms didn’t take place back in 2003 or ’05, ya know?

For better or worse, a historic moment today. Witnessing the start sure beat working in the office.

(Here’s a handy primer on the credit problems this is meant to abate).

Next day: Here’s what I’ve been waiting to hear, from Kudlow’s Money Politic$:

The Federal Reserve should get back to its core business of responsibly managing our money supply and inflation. It needs to get out of the business of bailouts. The Fed needs to return to protecting the purchasing power of the dollar. A strong dollar will reduce energy and food prices. It will stimulate sustainable economic growth and get this economy moving again.

Word up.

A Major Law and Reform

Thursday, September 11th, 2008

In her acceptance speech, Gov. and VP Nominee Sarah Palin said this of Barack Obama:

But listening to him speak, it’s easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state Senate.

Obama was, however, one of four senators to introduce the Federal Funding Accountability and Transparency Act of 2006, a piece of legislation that required the creation and maintenance of USASpending.gov, a public, searchable database of federal expenditures.

I consider that to be a major, and very welcome, law; and I give Obama a great deal of credit for backing it from the start (a total of 47 senators eventually sponsored the bill and two (Byrd and Stevens) installed secret holds to temporarily block its passage into law until September 26th, 2006).

I imagine nobody’s touting this as a counterexample for two reasons: Tom Coburn likely wrote the bulk of the bill as this sort of reform is his baby and John McCain was one of the other four senators to introduce the bill. Tom Carper, a centrist Democrat from Delaware and whom I count among the few honorable politicians serving our great nation, was the fourth.

A little further commentary: Back in my younger days, I recall a strong movement to pass a law giving President George H. W. Bush a line-item veto so that he could remove earmarks (and riders) from pieces of legislation without having to veto the entire bill. Thankfully, the line-item veto was never granted to the president—this would have created a destabilizing imbalance of power among the branches of government. But moves towards transparency like the Obama-Coburn-McCain-Carper reform are the correct sort of baby steps we need to get our government functioning and the national debt payed down. I’d like to see the anti-earmark movement gain traction down the stretch in the congressional races.

Stink-Detector

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008

A San Diego startup is releasing a toolbar that’ll highlight in red phrases in a news story that violate journalistic ethical standards or (soon) that are suspiciously similar to official press releases.

Ordinarily I’d speculate on what sort of a similarity scoring algorithm they used to identify text cut-n-pasted from press releases but instead I’ll joke that all that red will be high on the eyes.

Clarification: I’m not joking.

Quick Note on Saturday’s Illini Game

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008

Mark Tupper points out some problems with the Illini defense in this column. I admit, we left the game when it got to 47-7 in the fourth quarter to watch the end at a bar. One defender that impressed me a great deal was Dave Lindquist who, to my eye, did an excellent job stuffing the inside running game and also in pursuit of runners around the ends.

On the defensive side of the ball, he was my player of the game.

Free Content and Time Wasted

Monday, September 8th, 2008

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, so long that it doesn’t seem to come up in a search of the archives. For that reason, I’ll go ahead and blow twenty minutes or so on this nonsense:

1) Are you in a relationship with somebody? Not the kind you’re thinking of.

2) Do you hate more than 3 people? Absolutely, but it would take some thought to name the top three. Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro, Vladimir Putin, Osama Bin Laden come quickly to mind.

3) How many houses have you lived in? Owned just the one, but let’s see: I rented two apartments, a house, and lived in a dorm room since leaving the nest, and three different houses in as many states before then.

4) Favorite candy bar? Snickers

5) Favorite shoes? Hard to say, I’ve got two pairs: some Docs and Reefs, plus my old football shoes for mowing and playing softball.

6) Have you ever tripped someone? Yes, I was a defenseman.

7) Least favorite school subject? Psychology.

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? Of course not.

10) Have you ever thrown up in public? Yes. I climbed up a tree once because I was too drunk to be social. One of my friends found me and passed up a glass of wine. One sip later and I puked out of the tree. Classic. Classy.

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. My research.

12) Favorite genre of music? Don’t have one.

13) What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius

14) What time were you born? 2100ish

15) Do you like beer? With gusto.

16) Ever made a prank phone call? In elementary school to friends and as an undergraduate to call centers for ridiculous products sold on late-night informercials.

17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? That first John Mayer record. “Why, Georgia” is a good driving-through-the-country song, though.

18) Are you sarcastic? Me? Nooooo.

19) What are your favorite colors? Cardinal red, Blue n’ Orange, and charcoal grey.

20) How many watches do you own? I’ve got a pocket watch sitting on the desk in my home office. There’s a wristwatch somewhere.

21) Summer or winter? Summer. Preferred winter as a kid, though. Too poor to enjoy winter now.

23) Favorite color to wear? Charcoal. Cardinal red in October.

24) Pepsi or Sprite? Pepsi.

25) What color is your cell phone? Grey.

26) Where is your second home? My office, I guess. St. Louis, when I can get down there.

27) Have you ever slapped someone? Yes, but it was a manly slap.

28) Have you ever had a cavity? Yes, just spent a ton of money filling some.

29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? One, plus the lights on the ceiling fan.

30) How many video games do you own? Over twenty, across four different platforms.

31) What was your first pet? A turtle, not counting goldfish brought home from county fairs and such.

32) Ever had braces? Yes, but it wasn’t my decision.

33) Do looks matter? They do for a time, but that’s not what most of us are remembered for.

34) Do you use chap stick? No.

35) Name 3 teachers from High School. Mrs. Tenholder: fantastic woman, taught Asian Studies and Humanities; Dr. Miller: German; Coach McCaffery: medical science. All first-rate human beings.

36) American Eagle or Abercombie? Neither.

37) Are you too forgiving? I surely think not.

38) How many children do you want? As many as my future wife agrees to.

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? I don’t know what that is. I think I hope not.

40) Favorite breakfast meal? Grilled pork steaks and scrambled eggs for the crew before Saturday’s football game at Memorial Stadium. That was pretty good. Breakfast burritos cooked on a campfire is pretty competitive, though. Cream of Wheat in the winter brings back happy memories.

41) Do you own a gun? Several.

42) Ever thought you were in love? Plenty of times.

43) When was the last time you cried? It’s been sixteen years, I’d guess. My tear ducts atrophied during puberty.

44) What did you do 3 nights ago? Went to Physics happy hour, had a good time with good people. Then went home and read.

45) Olive Garden? I like their salads.

46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? Has anyone ever done this? Were they committed?

47) Have you ever been in a castle? Yes. The Prunn Schloss is among the many beautiful things I’ve been fortunate to have seen.

48) Nicknames? Anything that starts with an L. L-Train, L-Skillet, L-Slice, L-RonHubbard, just L. Most people use my name, though.

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? Not off the top of my head, but I don’t pay enough attention to people’s names.

50) Ever been to Kentucky? Yes, but never for very long.

51) Do you own something from Banana Republic? I’d be surprised.

52) Are you thinking about something right now? Finishing this to get back to the research. The pilot for House is re-running on TV, that’s a pretty good show.

53) Have you ever called someone Boo? I’m sure I have. Since I don’t pay enough attention to names, I have to make things up at times.

55) Do you own a diamond ring? No.

56) Are you happy with your life right now? I imagine I’ll be happier with it once I work through a few things.

57) Do you dye your hair? Ridiculous question.

58) Does anyone like you? If not, I hang out with a lot of talented actors.

59) What year were you born? 1977.

60) What were you doing in May of 1994? Finishing up my sophomore year of high school. Probably debating whether I wanted to play hockey again the next season after an injury plagued year. Having a lot of fun.

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? See 17.

62) McDonalds or Wendys? Neither sells good food.

63) Do you like yourself? More than I like the person who wrote these questions.

64) Are you closer to your mother or father? I’m close with both of them. My dad lives closer.

65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? Mind (I’m a materialist). Then legs (also a pig).

66) Are you afraid of the dark? Not afraid of anything like that.

67) Have you ever eaten paste? Glue paste? No. Bean paste, yes.

68) Do you own a webcam? No.

69) Have you ever stripped? At least twice a day.

70) Ever broke a bone? Both clavicles. See 60.

72) Do you chat on AIM often? I use Pidgin that communicates through their servers, but most people I talk to use gtalk. We use IM at work almost constantly.

73) Pringles or Lays? Neither. Tortilla chips with some good salsa, pretzels, popcorn, or nothing.

74) Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Not intentionally.

75) Rugrats or Doug? I find Spongebob pretty amusing.

76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? My friend Nick shot a cameraphone movie at the hill where the Full House introduction was filmed. He’s a brilliant dude.

77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? No. I talked to her once or twice maybe. It reminded me of having to go to confession when I went to a Catholic grade school. Didn’t recognize her authority, essentially. I always marched to the sound of my own drum as a youngster.

78) Has anyone ever called you fat? Yes, but I don’t recall the times it’s happened.

79) Do you have a birth mark? No.

80) Do you own a car? Yes. And it’s spectacular.

81) Can you cook? I think I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

82) 3 things that annoy you: condescension, racism, communism.

83) Do you text message often? Yes. I don’t like talking on the phone much, and can almost always say enough in two or three sentences of a text to get a face-to-face in short order.

84) Money or love? Both. Lots and lots of both.

85) Do you have any scars? Of course, some more interesting than others.

86) What do you want more than anything right now? To finish school and start a career.

87) Do you enjoy scary movies? Some are good. Some are unwatchable.

88) Relationships or one night stands? Are you kidding me?

89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? Juicy fruit, but I don’t chew gum very often.

90) Do you enjoy greasy food? I don’t like deep fried food. I could eat bacon every day of my life and be happy.

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? Not that new one. And had a hard time paying attention to the one where he was a manager or coach or whatever.

92) Do you own a box of crayons? No.

94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? I don’t recall.

95) Who was the last person that made you mad? The last time I lost my temper was when I was held up in traffic for a Critical Mass bike protest while driving from one awesome thing to another. That was over a year ago.

96) Who was the last person that made you cry? I honestly don’t remember the occasion when I last cried.

97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? Myself. I come up with jokes all day long, most just awful.

98) Who was the last person that you fell for? Jill Wagner.

99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you? A friend and colleague in Baltimore.

100) Who was the last person that called you? A client returning a call when I was at work. Last personal call I got was Saturday from a friend wondering why I hadn’t shown up at his BBQ yet. I had shit to do.

A Somewhat Dangerous Prank

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

Every member of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign community just received an email, spoofed from the Chancellor’s email account, reading thusly. Note that this is 100% a prank and not from Chancellor Herman:

Dear Students,

Many of you may be aware of an event known as Rush. It is my objective to
warn you of the potential downsides of Greek organizations. I advise you to
not succumb to the aggressive recruitment tactics used by these
organizations. It has been my concern over the years, that the Greek culture
of alcoholism and lack of respect for the community degrades campus life.
These organizations present themselves as prestigious, yet are
discriminatory, serve to perpetuate social inequality, especially with
respect to the opposite gender, and promote a lack of diversity. Many
students have expressed concerns with regards to safety on campus,
particularly due to Greek culture and behavior. It is my hope that a
student’s experience on campus strengthens one’s individuality, but the Greek
system emphasizes the group above all, without cause or reason. This is
detrimental to the purpose of universities.

I hope that you will consider wisely.

GDI Chancellor Richard Herman

There are obvious problems with the email that suggest that this was written by someone other than Herman, but the real giveaway is the “GDI” designator on his name. (Stands for “God Damned Independent” amongst undergraduates who don’t join Greek organizations and think there’s something noteworthy about that. I personally considered setting up an entirely separate Fraternal system based on the Mongols instead of the Greeks—gave it up when I couldn’t secure a yurt or enough horses for successful raids.)

It’s going to create some headaches, although not for me. Lots of complaints, hastily thrown together letters to the student newspaper, etc.. (Impressive: they’re on this quick!)

But it’s dangerous in a Boy Crying Wolf sense. We get security related emails from the Chancellor at times (though usually from the Public Safety chief). Spoofing email headers isn’t cool, in any case.

Gorbachov, Gorbachov.

Monday, September 1st, 2008

I don’t imagine I’ve eaten a twinkie in twenty years, but it’s absolutely certain that I never will again after watching this fantastic music video extolling the reforms Mikhail Gorbachev brought to the Soviet Union, including twinkies, blue jeans, popsicles, and NO ZOMBIES.

I was taken by surprise by the technique ol’ Gorby used for dispatching the final batch of zombies.

A Loss, but an Impressive Game

Monday, September 1st, 2008

If Juice throws as well all season as he did in many of the drives on Saturday, the Illini are going to have some fun this Fall. (The two late underneath INT’s should hopefully not happen again.)

The new Illini HQ website is pretty impressive. They’ve even got their equivalent of the Future Redbirds’ DFR, recapping the prep commits weekend games each Monday. I’ll be at next Saturday’s game, watching the beatdown of Eastern in person. Looking forward to seeing the newly renovated stadium from the inside.